Most people have heard about resiliency or know someone who has overcome great adversity. Yet, few understand what it means to be resilient.
During my time at BAM, I've faced many challenges that seemed insurmountable but came out the other side more determined, self-aware, and stronger. These experiences have taught me what resiliency really means — not just in theory, but in practice. As a company and a team, we've all been resilient in the face of great adversity, and it's a fantastic thing to witness every day.
Resiliency is a skill — which is exactly why it's one of BAM's core values. It's not a fixed trait or an innate ability. It's defined by how we view ourselves, our world, and the many problems that arise in a single day. As Dr. Lucy Hone, a resilience researcher and grief expert, says, "You can rise up from adversity. There are strategies that work, and it is utterly possible to act in certain ways that help you navigate through tough times."
So, what does that actually look like in practice? What can you do the next time life throws something heavy your way? Here are three strategies that have helped me and that will help you build resiliency in a real, tangible way.
1. Shit Happens
Suffering is inevitable. That's not meant to be bleak; it's meant to be grounding. Acknowledging that difficulties like loss, failure, and hardship are universal helps prevent the "Why me?" spiral that makes challenges feel personal or unfair.
When you accept that adversity is part of being human rather than a sign that you're uniquely unlucky, the weight of the moment becomes easier to carry. You're no longer fighting the fact that something hard is happening; you're focusing your energy on getting through it.
2. What Are You Going to Do About It?
Resilient people understand the difference between what they can control and what they can't. Look at your situation clearly and ask:
- What part of this can I influence?
- What actions are actually within my power?
At the same time, intentionally lean in to the good. Practice gratitude, however small. Notice what's working instead of letting negativity take over the frame. This mindset creates room for more than just the hard stuff.
3. Evaluate Your Actions
One of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is: "Is what I'm doing helping or hurting me?"
It sounds simple, but this moment of honesty can interrupt patterns (like rumination, avoidance, or self-blame) that make adversity feel worse. It also creates space to choose something healthier. Thought by thought, action by action, you begin reinforcing the version of yourself who gets through difficulty rather than the version who sinks under it.
Resiliency doesn't mean avoiding pain or pretending everything is fine. It means meeting life as it is and choosing, over and over, to move forward with intention. When you remember that struggle is universal, focus on what you can control, and ask whether your actions are helping or hurting you, you build a foundation strong enough to handle whatever comes next.
Resiliency is learned, practiced, and earned — one challenge, one decision, one day at a time.
What's One Thing You Can Control Today?
The next time adversity hits, try asking yourself just one of these questions. Pick the strategy that resonates most with you and put it into practice. Then share it. Because resilience, like all values, grows stronger when we build it together.
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