Love Languages at Work - Showing Appreciation for Your Team

Love languages. Romantic relationships, intimate friendships, close family – that’s what probably springs to mind. But what if we told you that better understanding love languages can also transform the way we show up at work? 

At BAM, we understand how life-changing perks and workplace policies are (really, we highlighted some of our benefits in our last DEI blog post) – but just as important is how people feel at work everyday. One of the best ways to build stronger teams is by showing appreciation in ways that resonate. Enter: the five love languages.

Let’s be real. Talking about “love languages" at work sounds cheesy at first. We hear you. But strip away any romantic connotations and you’re left with something powerful: a framework for understanding how people prefer to give and receive appreciation. 

Coined by Dr. Gary Chapman, the idea of 5 languages is simple: different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. And there’s even a work equivalent. In 2007, Chapman partnered with Paul E. White, psychologist and leadership trainer, to write The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. Their goal? More effective, well-functioning organizations. “Appreciation helps team members within an organization work together more cooperatively and helps them achieve their goals more efficiently,” says White. Other positive results? Reduced turnover and making organizations more desirable for prospective employees. Of course, there’s data to back it up. Employees who receive high-quality recognition are 45% less likely to leave, says a 2024 study from Gallup. This translates to employees feeling valued at work. 

Let’s break it down: 

• Words of Affirmation. Some team members thrive on verbal recognition. A specific “I appreciated how you handled this situation” helps these team members feel valued. At BAM, we’ve built this into our culture by kicking off each of our weekly standups with “thank-yous” and shoutouts on Slack (personalized direct messages and public shares, both).
  
  

• Acts of Service. Ever had a colleague step in when you were swamped or needed personal time? That’s acts of service in real time! Whether it’s taking a task off someone’s plate or helping with a last minute project –  it builds trust and helps team members feel valued.
  
  

• Quality Time. Some folks feel valued through dedicated, distraction-free time on the calendar. This could translate to a regularly scheduled 1:1, virtual coffee, or intentional team bonding. BAM’s “What’s Good Wednesdays,”  “Mochas with Mel,” and our wonderful yearly retreats stem from this understanding. (What’s Good Wednesdays is a space for us to share what’s good in our worlds every week and Mochas with Mel creates space for thoughtful 15-minute conversations - usually in small groups).
  
  

• Gifts. Sure, we work for money but gifts aren't about the price tag. Someone’s favorite coffee, relevant learning opportunities, or books show appreciation, too. At BAM, we love recognizing milestones with these gestures. Just ask Beck, CEO – handwritten notes and personalized gifts with our individual “words of the year” were in our mailboxes last month. Flex PTO is a regular gift we cherish as a team, because time is a gift, too.
  
  
• Physical Touch (with boundaries). Okay, we know this one doesn’t show up easily in the workplace. In a professional setting, this translates to high-fives, fist bumps, or virtual hugs. Celebratory emojis and GIFS are a BAM favorite through Slack or Zoom. 

Putting this into practice. Reflect on your own workplace love language. How do you prefer to feel celebrated? Next, observe your team. How do your colleagues show appreciation? What seems to energize them? The most effective way to implement love languages is to make this a part of your onboarding. At BAM, team members share their preferred way of recognition, which helps everyone else connect authentically and effectively early on. 

Employee appreciation isn’t one-size fits all. Teams that feel valued see higher engagement, morale, and retention. More importantly, everyone benefits when work feels more human – because when people feel seen and appreciated in a way that feels genuine, they’re more likely to show up to work as their best selves.

We challenge you: identify you and your colleagues’ preferred love languages. Then, make it a conscious effort to express appreciation every week, using different love languages. The trickle effect may just surprise you.