When Jill and I sat with Sarah Reynolds, CMO at Benifex, we got a masterclass in inclusive leadership, the power of language, and what it really means to show up authentically at work.
Throughout our conversation, Sarah challenged us to rethink how we talk about authenticity, what we ask of our teams, and why marketing needs to get a lot more honest about what workplaces are really like. Here are four takeaways from the podcast episode.
Many teams use the phrase "bring your authentic self to work" with good intentions (yup, us too). But Sarah understands that language doesn't land for everyone.
Sarah is non-binary, queer, and disabled. Sarah is also a white CMO. As someone who refuses to shrink themselves to fit outdated definitions of "professional,” Sarah understands why they might have the ability to bring more of their authentic self to work than some colleagues. For people prioritizing emotional safety, physical safety, or financial well-being, they might not be bringing their authentic self to work — they might bring their chosen self. The part they allow you to see. The part they feel comfortable sharing.
The difference matters. When you pressure people to bring their "authentic self" in cultures where that's not realistic or safe, you're creating expectations that feel impossible to meet instead of inclusion.
So how do you differentiate chosen self from masking? Sarah's answer was simple: It's about who's doing the choosing. If you're creating an environment where people have to choose to mask, that's different from creating a welcoming environment where someone gets to choose what to share. Chosen self is about agency. Masking is about survival.
Sarah's advice to executives? "You have to show a part of yourself that you're uncomfortable with before you can ever expect your team to bring those parts of themselves to you."
Sarah shared their own experience — being comfortable talking about gender identity at work, but taking longer to be open about being disabled, even when they were already out as non-binary and going through transition in the workplace.
The point? You have to get comfortable modeling the behavior you want to see. People don't mask for no reason. People mask because they've learned that's how they have to be in order to be successful, safe, welcomed, or celebrated. If you want them to feel comfortable bringing more of themselves, you need to go first. You need to take the risk.
Sarah told us about a conversation with a chief people officer who didn't feel comfortable pushing back on a CEO's bad idea "because I'm just the chief people officer." Sarah's response? "If you don't push back, who's going to?"
When you're comfortable with yourself, when you've done the work to show up as your chosen self, you have a responsibility to use your voice. Especially when you sit in rooms where decisions are being made.
Sarah shared what it's like to be the person who gets labeled: "Oh, that's Sarah's pet DEI project," or "Here comes the objection from the person who thinks they're a chief people officer." The first few times that happens, it's really hard. You feel like you're being put into a different box.
But you have to get comfortable with the fact that you're using your voice even when it's going to be leveled at you. Because if you don't say it in that room, how can you expect your employees to tell you what's really going on in engagement surveys? How can you create the culture you actually want?
When we asked Sarah what they’d redesign about the modern workforce, they didn't hold back. We're really keen to have inclusive marketing, diverse colleagues on our website, and boast about best-in-class benefits programs. But we're not actually keen to do the hard work required to keep those people enrolled.We're not keen to have the difficult pay equity conversations. We're not keen to ask our healthcare providers if they offer gender-affirming care. We show up with corporate speak that says "everything's a mess right now and we need someone to build from zero to one," but we don't actually describe the culture people are walking into.
Sarah's wish? That workplaces would be more authentic to their imperfections. No workplace is perfect. More realistically, every company has its sh*t. It's about finding a workplace where the stuff matches your stuff — kind of like dating, Sarah said. You need to find someone whose imperfections you can live with.
If more organizations were transparent about where they're really at, the work they're trying to do, and where they're getting it wrong, it would help everyone. It would help candidates understand if they're actually a fit. It would help employees know what they're signing up for. And it would create cultures where people can show up as their chosen selves instead of constantly performing perfection.
What gives Sarah hope about the future of work? The folks who are genuinely committed to doing the work the right way. The number of people who are pushing back and calling out things they don't love. The reality, they reminded us, is that there are more of us than there are of them.
After this conversation, Jill and I committed to shifting our language. We're going to start talking about chosen self instead of authentic self. We're going to keep modeling discomfort. And we're going to keep having these conversations that push us to be better, more inclusive leaders.
If Sarah taught us anything, it's that the work of creating truly human workplaces isn't about being perfect. It's about being honest, doing the hard work, and using whatever privilege and voice we have to make space for others.
Listen to the full episode of Work Made Human to hear more from Sarah Reynolds on shadow ERGs, executive presence, and why they can win any spicy-food challenge.